OGS SG was the most wonderful thing that happened in my life.

i didnt know what did i do to deserve so many love from woohyun. thank you, woohyun ah

it’s always rainbow after the storm. i was really really set since the days before for losing my chance to hangout with tasty, and trapped in the hell situation aka samsung event at paragon.

i arrived at the venue around 11:20 ish. i got a fever the night fever and cant get up T_T but camilla and xiaoyen helped me to trade my ticket. i got number 26, thank you cam!! TT

after i got the numbered wrist band, i went to eat with gerz and shermaine and another one. it was really fun with you guys ;;__;;

anyway, skip so many parts, i managed to bring my SLR with me but since i got the best place aka first row aka most front aka closest to stage, i decided not to take pictures rather than get my ass kicked from the venue LOL

(tied my camera in between my legs if you’re wondering how did i do it)

and i bring my huge fanboard with me. its big so i flipped it into 3 parts so it will looks small

my fanboard is “woohyun oppa, will you marry me?” in hangul (thank u jay unnie)

now the best part, the concert

before they start the actual concert, they played destiny Ver A, and then dancer’s stage

first song is destiny, followed with paradise. infinite stripped. god bless

then, they introduced themselves. the lights are all on so infinite can see us clearly. woohyun introduced himself as “infinite’s princess, woohyun!” (woohyun maybe u mean prince LOL) and sungyeol’s introduction is “sexy boy sungyeol”

during this time i use my chance to show woohyun my banner. since i flipped it into 3 parts, the 1st part is only “woohyun oppa”. i waved my banner slowly to front so he could see it, and when he see it, i opened it and he read my fanboard and nod at me and smile like “ok ok ;)”

dead.

i just want to fall into a hole when that happened.

i made sure that he really nod at me so i waved it again at him and mouth him “oppa” and he smiled at me like he assured me

next song is wings, infinite dance on the main stage first and then moved to the external stage. got eye contact with sungyeol but he saw my “woohyun marry me banner” and after that he never looked at me again. SUNGYEOL THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU IGNORED ME BC IM WOOHYUN BIASED UGHHGHGH WHY

next song is their special stage for samsung, request on the external stage

and followed by inception on the main stage, and talk session again

sunggyu said he is happy bcs so many inspirits here, and woohyun offered him a tissue omg damn woogyu. woohyun offered him more tissue but sunggyu rejected lol

hoya said that he should give a present for inspirits and throw a heart from his pocket.

sungyeol joined and throw a big heart to inspirits.

myungsoo being gay to sungjong and keep patting his head when sungjong spoke in 4 languages

next song is can you smile. they’re all running around and it was somehow dubstep version LOL

and next is going to you in the external stage. there’s a bit trouble with sungjong’s mic and sunggyu didnt get the right beat a bit LOL

when they were about to go back to the main stage, woohyun stopped in front of me, pointed at me and sing. he was like "HEY MY GIRLFRIEND YEAH LET ME SERENADE YOU ;)“ and killed me 500x with everything he did.

next is yeoljong stage. this is where i almost got eye contact with sungyeol again but he avoided my eyes bc im a woohyun stan and keep looking at camilla (CONGRATS CAM I KNOW U DIED)

next is INFINITE H stage. dongwoo giva xiaoyen an intense eye contact and fanservice bc he was in the right stage and right in front of xiao yen omg congrats girl!

~and then uncomfortable MV where everyone is screaming~

next is in the summer, they’re sitting on a chair in the external stage. first it was sungyeol who pointed to a fan, then woohyun stepped up his game and stood up from the chair, pointed to a fan and sing it to her lol wooyeol

AND THEN sungjong beat them all when he stood up and dance sexily IM DEAD 

next is i like you! they start throwing things and paperplane and selcaing and videoing themselves with samsung. wooyeol taking selca together!!

next is myungsoo’s stage with the teddy bear AND ITS JUST A DOLL WITHOUT SUNGYEOL INSIDE IT T_T

next is woohyun’s stage oh my gdo

i swapped place with xiaoyen so im reachable in case woohyun wanted to propose me (LOL) and camilla and xiaoyen are shouting at woohyun to choose me and even using the light to point at me OMG tears thank u guys i love you

woohyun saw us trying and he smiled almost the whole song and keep looking at us probably judging us hard bc we were so loud LOL

anyway woohyun proposed to a girl from VIP section and said "i love you” to her

dude. 

why did you nod at my proposal and gave me a lot of signal if you’re not going to choose me.

im disappointed ngl bc this is the second time woohyun gave me a lot of signal but didnt propose to me lol.

i was so upset at woohyun and i was planning of not gonna shout his name again lol

i flipped my fanboard to the back blank side and keep holding it like that lol

talk part, myungyeol being gay as hell like always and dongwoo patting sunggyu’s ass.

woohyun fixing his pants i want to cry.

they are talking about their solo stage and asked as how was it and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO when woohyun asked his stage.

i waved him the backside of my fanboard and only shout to dongwoo.

istg when i did that he looked at me like “wtf bitch i thought ur my fan” i cant breathe 

but i was like “yolo you started it first im not gonna stan you again bye we are finished”

i keep shouting dongwoo’s name and even screamed “saranghaeyo!!” loudly which i didnt even do it to woohyun before lol

he saw me doing that and IDK I SUDDENLY JUST FELT BAD I FEEL LIKE IM CHEATING ON HIM he’s not even my boyfriend

anyway after that i flipped back my board to his name and he gave me a satisfied smile

next song is eomma, and then VCR

AND DISCLAIMER: this part is where i dont know when he exactly did the fanservices to me bc i didnt write the song title during live tweeting TT i only tweeted what he did to me fml

(i will just copy from my tweets)

0:36 i shouted “nam woohyun saranghae! nam woohyun jjang!!” and he nod at me like “yeah yeah i know i knoe ;)” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuqF1qLOtoE&feature=youtube_gdata_player so done

MIL: in the first part, his part is on the right side and it was super close to my area so he pointed at me before his part. i wasnt sure if it was me until xiaoyen shake me and i was like o_O and woohyun smiled at me. i gave him a mini heart sign and then he grabbed his ‘heart’ and throw me a flying kiss and hurriedly do his part ;___; 

and also around 02:00 he pointed at me again im dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Zbxegfsbw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

NOTHING’S OVER.

he looked at me for a long time and sing to me like “yeah yeah dont worry i love you too pls dont be upset” and im dead and gone.

(let me copy my tweets bc lazy to rewrite)

WOOHYUN FUCKING GO IN FRONT OF ME AND LOOK AT ME AND POINT AT ME AND SING AND POINT AND POINT AND WINK AND THROW ME KISS AND NOD AT ME

WOOHYUN GIVE ME HIS MINI HEARD AND THROW THE MINI HEART KISS TO ME AND SMILE AND SING HIS PART FUCK

AND DURING THE MIDDLE PART HE SING AT ME AND POINT AT ME AGAIN JESUS CHRIST WOOHYUN

i personally forget this was during matgyeo or nothing’s over bcs my memories are all blurry thank u woohyun

talk part: after sunggyu’s stage, its another talk session and woohyun saw me waving my “will you marry me?” banner again and suddenly out of nowhere he said “i just i did a proposal on stage! *look at my area* *back & facing the front* will you marry me?” I WAS LITERALLY SO DONE HOW COULD YOU NAM WOOHYUN

you throw my innocent proposal to you easily to all of your girlfriend i should’ve put copyright on my board so i can sue you when you steal my pickup line!! 

(kidding okay lol)

anyway, move on to my favorite part ;____;

during the talk part, he went to my area and stood in front of me, and i shout for his name and he looked at me. when he was looking at me, i did the 'kissy’ lips to him and he laughed a little and nod and smiled at me. then i shouted again “nam woohyun jjang!” and he smiled at me like he’s so proud of himself :“)

then I did the small heart and flying heart and he smiled and nod and he kissed his hand and do the flying heart to me ;__;

I was so _(:3 」∠)_ and Camilla and xiaoyen was like "CHRISTA CHRISTA OMG” and he smiled and THEN HE JUST HAD TO GAVE ME HIS DEATHLY WINK AND PUT HIS INDEX FINGER IN FRONT OF HIS LIPS AND DID THE “SSHHH ;)” GESTURE TELLING ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE LIKE THIS IS OUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET IM SO DONE

and he left me like that because he had to moved on to the next song

and during the last talk session… the most heartbreaking for me T__T

he was right in front of me and when he looked at me, i mouthed him “saranghaeyo”

camilla and xiaoyen were screaming to dongwoo and sungyeol super loud, so woohyun put his hand on his ear like asking me to shouted it like cam and yen and i did.

i screamed to him “nam woohyun saranghaeyo!!” twice and he looked satisfied.

i shouted again “nam woohyun jjang!” and gave him a thumb up and he smiled at me and he opened his arms like he wants to hug me and i open my arms too and dropped my fanboard OTL 

he laughed at me for that and then he pretended like he hugged me and laughed cutely ;__;

last song, WITH

before they start singing, he looks like he was about to cry and holding back his tears.

it hurts me so much. xiaoyen are screaming for sunggyu so i made sure he can hear me and i told him “woohyunah uljimayo!! uljima!!” AND HE TURNED HIS BACK AND LOOKED AT ME AGAIN LIKE “no bitch i aint gonna cry u hear me im nOT GNA CRY!!!” but lol everyone knows you were about to cry

xiaoyen was crying so hard during WITH. woohyun saw us and mouth to xiaoyen “gwenchana?” a few times making sure xiaoyen is okay. and after xiaoyen told him back she is okay, woohyun looked at me again and i patted my heart with my hand and did the “my heart only belongs to you” gesture to woohyun.

it hurts me so much because his smile is no longer a cheerful smile but he gave me painful smile. i wish i could stop the time and run and hug him ;;

then they went around and bowed to everyone, for a long long time to every spot.

when they went back to the mainstage, woohyun was once again right in front of me.

i gave him two thumbs up and he smiled and gave me a peace sign and an assurance smile that he is okay and very thankful for today. 

he then waved to all directions and lastly, did a couple heart with hoya and they all left :“)

i feel so thankful for everything that happened. god, friends, infinite, and especially woohyun. and i am super grateful that next to me arent woohyun’s fans so its easier for me to get fanservice from woohyun :”) 

see you in a year, babies!

1. Height:
2. Shoe Size:
3. Sexual Orientation:
4. Do you Smoke?
5. Do you Drink?
6. Do you Take Drugs?
7. Age you get mistaken for:
8. Have Tattoos?
9. Want any tattoos
10. Got any Piercings?
11. Want any piercings?
12. Best friend?
13. Relationship status:
14. Biggest turn on:
15. Biggest turn off:

today is my birthday. i’m supposed to be happy am i right? no. thank you dad for ruining the whole day. i’m sensitive when it’s about my birthday. i might appear happy and dumb and idiot but truth is i always feel so alone. i feel like shit most of the day, everyday. 

idk where to start. im so deeply hurt by everything. i treated like a dog by the one who give birth to me.

i start my day by being yelled and abused by my dad. on my birthday. he didnt remember it was my birthday today. not even a single word said from his mouth that has something about my birthday related. its al just curse curse and lts of horrible swear words that im already get used to. he said the reason he punished me was because im still awake at 3 am. i told him bc everyone was saying happy birthday to me and i replied everyone. i was so fucking happy bc i thought everyone already forget me since i never talk to them anymore, or just say, i stop socializing. he said bullshit, he asked me do i even have friends that stay up to say happy birthday at 12 and talk to me. it hits me. i dont really have friend irl anymore. all of my bestfriends are older and studying overseas and i kinda lost connection with them due to timezones and everything, while my “friends” here, i stop going out with them.

i have so many reason that i can list why i stop going out with them. unnecessary drama is one of the most obvious reason, but another one biggest reason is because i want to stop my nightlife. i’m 18 now and i HAD a terrible past such as nightlife, alcohol and gang back when i was still 15. compared to all my friend im still the rookie here but i seriously stop it like a year ago. i stopped when my friend(s) got pregnant and my friend got caught by the cops and sentenced to jail. i realized if i keep continue doing this i might end up like them and i dont want to have that kind of life. i’ve never contact any of them anymore. i spent my friday and saturday night studying english and yeah, on twitter talking to you guys. 

i always told my friend that i ran out of money, where truth is, money was never the problem. honestly, i’m the daughter of one success company in my city and grand daughter of the very famous brand in indonesia. i have lots of maids i have a big house with swimming pool,but i never feel like home in my own house. this place i called home feels like hell to me. i cant be who i actually am here. when i feel sad, i have to hide it from them. when i feel happy, i have to hide it too. if i feel like crying, i have to hide myself on the toilet and turned the shower on so it’d look like im taking a shower when im actually crying my heart out. it kills me everytime i have to fake everything and pretends like im ok im happy im good. my mom was never like a friend to me.

when i was bullied by everyone in my elementary, i stay silent.

when the doctor said i need to stop my basketball career bc of scoliosis, i keep my face straight. i never cry in front of them no matter how much it kills me.

when i got my first heartbreak, i keep all to myself bc i have no one to talk to.

whenever i get my backpain because of the scoliosis, i will just cry silently under my blanket.

whenever im sick, i will just try my best to cure myself without any medicine. 

because they wont care and it hurt me so much so id rather not let myself down by them.

instead of giving me warm words and support when i was sentenced with scoliosis, they curse me for being a dumb daughter who will just squeezed their money out, where actually i  inherit this scoliosis from my dad. at time like that i really dk what to do. at one side i want to cry because me myself dont want to have this kind of disease, another side im angry at everyone especially my dad, why do i have to inherit this from you. why me, why not my spoiled brother? i was so angry to God too, to the point i stop going to the church for a year (and explain why i was drowned to nightlife). im so mad at everything,, im mad at my parents spending a lot of money for my body braces and force me to wears it everyday everywhere.

during the last 3 months i’ve been depressed more than ever, and today is the the i will let out everything. i cant hold it anymore. i really want someone to hug me, to comfort me.

i am so done with life. i am going back to school tomorrow. i have another extra hour and school on saturday due to senior year and i have national exam coming. i have to work my ass off bc i want to move to either australia or america for good.

if you’re reading up until this point, that means you really are care to me despite this text is fucking long ass text post full of my rants and depressed thing. i love you. i’ve cried a bucket today. since the morning, before writing this, while writing this, and even after writing this, maybe im still crying here. i love you tlist i love you

see you later

(Source: whi-che-ver)